Welcome To The Smart Sex Movement.

It has begun! Something really big is here and has been getting big for quite some time now. Whether you are Straight, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender, Bigender, Pangender, Gender Fluid
, Androgynous
, Genderqueer, Transexual or one of the 50 different types of gender identifications Facebook and others sites offer, we are excited to have you join us. Check out this article from Skynews to find out more about gender options on Facebook and pick one!

Facebook users who do not want to identify their gender as male or female now can select from around 50 other terms. Among the new ones added by the social network site are androgynous, bi-gender, cisgender, intersex, gender fluid and transsexual. There are also three preferred pronoun options: him, her or them. The company said the changes were aimed at giving people more choice in how they describe themselves. The move came after years of lobbying from users, some of whom started Facebook pages to petition for the change. Facebook worked closely with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) activist groups to compile the new list of gender identity options.Company spokesman Will Hodges told “While to many this change may not mean much, for those it affects it means a great deal.

“We see this as one more way we can make Facebook a place where people can express their authentic identity.”

Facebook software engineer Brielle Harrison worked on the project and is herself undergoing gender transformation, from male to female. She said: “There’s going to be a lot of people for whom this is going to mean nothing, but for the few it does impact, it means the world.

“All too often transgender people like myself and other gender nonconforming people are given this binary option, do you want to be male or female? What is your gender? “And it’s kind of disheartening because none of those let us tell others who we really are.

“This really changes that, and for the first time I get to go to the site and specify to all the people I know what my gender is.” But the latest development seemed senseless to those who believe in two genders. Jeff Johnston from national religious organization Focus On The Family said: “Of course Facebook is entitled to manage its wildly popular site as it sees fit. “But here is the bottom line: it’s impossible to deny the biological reality that humanity is divided into two halves – male and female. “Those petitioning for the change insist that there are an infinite number of genders, but just saying it doesn’t make it so. That said, we have a great deal of compassion for those who reject their biological sex and believe they are the opposite sex.”

To see all of Facebook’s gender classifications click the link below. goes off line with mixer ideas designed to “stir” things up. came up with a great idea for social gatherings packed with people matched through algorithms. We thought it was novel and the kind of Smart Sex thinking we thought you should know more about. Below is from their site. Click their link to join the party. is once again stirring up singles’ social lives with the launch of thousands of live events for members across the country! Forget having to wonder who’s single and who’s not at a bar or hot spot. When you go to a Stir event, everyone will be single, everyone will be looking to meet someone, and each event will be customized through our group matching algorithms in terms of age, gender and interests. Here’s a preview of the types of events to look forward to:

Happy hours
Cooking classes
Wine & tequila tastings
Bowling nights
Dance lessons
Volunteer events
Events for pet owners

We are rolling out Stir in more than 20 U.S. cities by June and nationwide in over 85 cities by September. With hundreds of events a month and thousands of people attending events a week, is creating more ways for people to meet.

Members can learn about and sign up for these events via, and subscribers can even invite friends and bring them along as an added benefit. Changes the Way People Meet… Again Press Release

We look forward to seeing you at a Stir event near you soon! Check out photos from past events below:

Can BDSM Improve Mental Health? Let’s Hope So!

BDSM has long been a sticking point in our popular views on sex and sexual health. What is it really? Why do people practise it? Who practises it? Once heavily stigmatized, it has begun to make more frequent appearances on the pop culture scene.

Yet many misconceptions still exist – one of the most common involving mental health. Why do some people enjoy BDSM more than others, and does it reveal anything about our psychology?

BDSM is currently listed in the newest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as a paraphilia – an unusual sexual fixation. But a recent study offers a different view. In fact, it reports, practitioners of BDSM actually score better on certain indicators of psychological wellbeing than those who have exclusively ‘vanilla’ sex.

But first, an important question: What is BDSM really?

Breaking Down BDSM

BDSM is a sexual practice that revolves around the four fetishes of bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism. It does not have to involve all four. One partner plays the dominant role, while the other is submissive. It is often associated with whips and chains, but can also be subtler; role-playing, blindfolding or tying up your partner can qualify as light BDSM. Most importantly, BDSM is consensual. Despite its dominant-submissive aspect, BDSM is practiced between two consenting partners as a way to explore sexually.

Testing BDSM

BDSM’s label as a disorder does not sit well with many practitioners, particularly because no evidence has been found to suggest that enjoying sex with a side of pain is linked to psychological problems. In fact, this recent University of the Netherlands study suggests just the opposite.

Both BDSM practitioners and vanilla (non-BDSM) participants filled out questionnaires on personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and well-being. None were informed of its purpose.

Both BDSM practitioners and vanilla (non-BDSM) participants filled out questionnaires on personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and well-being. None were informed of its purpose.

The results revealed that BDSM practitioners were:

More open to new experiences.

More conscientious.

Less neurotic, a trait marked by anxiety.

They scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity (in other words, how paranoid one is about others disliking them), and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships. Regardless of preference for dominance or submission, no practitioner scored lower than vanilla respondents on the scale of wellbeing – most scored higher.

The researchers couldn’t explain this trend, but speculated that it might have something to do with better awareness about one’s sexual needs, which causes less frustration in bed. Accepting unusual preferences may also require hard psychological work and reflection, which eventually translates into a stronger and healthier psychological wellbeing.

Does seeing men and women like this make you feel uncomfortable?

Remember the sultry scene in “Basic Instinct” when Sharon Stone crossed and then uncrossed her legs? How about that sensual moment in “Titanic” when Leonardo DiCaprio drew Kate Winslet in the nude? The gender roles in these memorable cinematic moments are so pronounced, it’s difficult to imagine them any other way. BuzzFeedPop created a video that highlights these and other iconic scenes, and shows them side-by-side with reenactments in which the female roles are played by men, and the male roles are played by women. While a few moments provide for some levity, the reversed depictions of sexuality and dominance are jarring to eyes conditioned to see women as objects more easily than men. “Is seeing men and women like this uncomfortable?” BuzzFeedPop asks in a thought-provoking conclusion, leaving us with an important question: “Why?” There’s some food for thought.

Virtual Monsters. Child Sex Tourism In South-East Asia.

THE usual story of child sex-tourism goes something like this. A predator from a rich country arranges a meeting with a fixer and travels to a poor country. The fixer could be a pimp, or even a family relation of the child. If so, the predator might shower the child’s family with gifts and money in exchange for being alone with his victim. Eventually, the offender flies home and returns to his normal life as if nothing had happened.

However, the rapid spread of fast and cheap internet connections in the poor world, and particularly in South-East Asia, is adding a new twist to this nasty old story. It’s called “virtual trafficking”, where predators now meet children in video-chat rooms. According to the UN and America’s FBI, some 750,000 potential predators are online at any given moment. The FBI also estimates that there are at least 40,000 such chat-rooms. The new technology allows paedophiles to skip the expensive travel while still bringing victims right into their bedrooms half-way across the world.

A series of joint police operations early this year exposed “cottage industries” and web-streaming sex dens which hold children for sexual purposes. Many were run by poor families looking to make money out of their children. Terre des Hommes (TDH), a Netherlands-based NGO working against child exploitation, released a report last November showing how easy it is to gather information about paedophiles by using a false profile of a ten-year-old girl from the Philippines. The result, over 20,000 advances from 71 countries over a period of ten weeks. Predators easily gave away their locations and identities because they believed no one was watching. TDH identified 1,000 of them and handed over their dossiers to Interpol.

Since then, several national police forces have been busy hunting down these new chat-room predators. To date more than a hundred Britons and Australians have come under investigation. Some governments, including in America and Canada, have laws that allow for prosecution of child-sex crimes committed overseas as if they happened at home. But while a TDH survey of legislation from the 21 countries that most offenders come from showed a solid legal backing for prosecution, such action is still rare in most countries. TDH says there is a lack of political will to tackle the issue and apprehend those guilty.

The problem is particularly bad in the Philippines. There, whereas 2% of its 77m people had access to the Internet in 2000, today over one-third of its 104m people do. Combined with deep poverty, this gives fixers and families both the means and the incentive to put children on the web. Fortunately, however, unlike in most countries the Philippines justice system allows for entrapment. “This facilitates prosecution in cases where the victims are unable to testify in court for whatever reasons,” says Darlene Pajarito, an assistant city prosecutor with the department of justice.



Do Girls Enjoy It When You Talk to Them During Sex?

 A: Talking to her in bed serves two purposes. The first is to successfully extract information from her about what she wants. To do so effectively, you need to communicate in a way that allows her to tell you honestly what she feels. “What do you want me to do?” or “How do you want me?” are perfectly reasonable questions for a woman to hear in bed. And, just so you know, girls do not like to hear the porn-popular phrase “Do you like that?” It is completely pointless and obnoxious. (What’s she going to say, “no”?)

The second reason to talk to her in bed is to turn her on by keeping her mentally in the action. This is the trickier one because what does it for one woman may gross out the next. So pick up cues. Terms like “cock” and “pussy” can be polarizing, so unless she starts talking about them first, keep those words holstered. However, here are some fail-safe options that any woman will respond to: “You’re so sexy,” “You’re amazing” (if she’s on top), “I just want to please you” (if you’re on top or about to pleasure her in any way), and “I don’t want this to stop.” Be sure to continually remind her that she’s turning you on and that you’re going to concentrate on her pleasure—those are things no woman can argue with.

By Amber Madison 

– See more at:

Amber Madison is a New York–based therapist, author, and sex columnist. Send your questions to


A Rainbow Summer: The Best Gay Pride Destinations of 2014.

Fighting for the rights and acceptance of the LGBT community has never been so fun. From boat parties to beach parties to street parties and more, the world’s best gay Pride events manage to turn a political statement into a downright exhilarating (and fantastically colorful) affair.


Amsterdam Pride

Amsterdam Pride, which has taken place annually since 1996, distinguishes itself from other similar events by taking its parade to the water. Hundreds of thousands of people congregate around the city’s canals on Saturday to watch the over-the-top boat floats party their way downstream.


Madrid Pride

The first Madrid Pride (or “Orgullo Madrid”) took place at a time of exciting political change in 1979 after the death of the Spanish dictator and the arrival of democracy to the country. From these revolutionary origins, the Madrid event has become one of the biggest gay rights gatherings on the continent, attracting more than 1.5 million people each year. 2014’s festivities will take place July 2-6.


London Pride

One of Europe’s longest-running LGBT events, London’s Pride march has been bringing color to Britain’s capital since 1972. In its modern iteration, Pride has a number of big name sponsors and oodles of other side events (in addition to the traditional parade). Depending on your taste, you can check out the London Gay Symphony Orchestra, the Pride Picnic in the Park, and even a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. This year’s parade will take place on June 28, the 45th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.


Pride Week Toronto

Pride Week Toronto is full of all-night dance parties, family and youth events, and a multitude of parades, including the Dyke March, the Trans* Pride March, and the Pride Parade. In 2014, Pride Toronto will host WorldPride, an annual global celebration held in a different city each year, from June 20-29.


New York Pride

New York’s Pride Parade is, truly, the one that started it all. A year after the 1969 police raid on the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in Greenwich Village, LGBT activists walked 51 blocks to Central Park in the world’s first ever Pride march. Over 40 years later, New York City is still at the heart of the gay rights movement, and the Pride events continue to grow in popularity every year. You can check out 2014’s events June 27-29.


Oslo Pride

Oslo Pride, which began life with the name “Gay Days,” has been around since 1982. Today, there is not only a march, but also a number of concerts, art exhibits, political debates and more, all of which aim to increase visibility and acceptance of the LGBT community. In 2014, Oslo will also be the host of EuroPride, a pan-European Pride event held in a different city each year.


CSD Berlin

Berlin’s Christopher Street Day celebrations, named for the location of New York City’s Stonewall Inn whose raid stirred the gay rights movement into action, have been held since 1979 and are some of the biggest in Europe. Those in attendance can expect crazy costumes, crazier posters, and plenty of that good ol’ German humor. This year’s parade will took place on June 21.


Tel Aviv Pride

The annual Tel Aviv Pride Parade, formerly known as the Tel Aviv Love Parade, culminates in a giant Mediterranean beach party. As the largest gay pride event in Asia, this celebration attracts over 100,000 people each year. While this number may pale in comparison to the millions that turn out in other global cities, rest assured — Israelis have enough energy (and vocal strength) to compensate. 2014 festivities took place on June 13.


San Francisco Pride

With over 40 years of annual celebrations under its belt, San Francisco Pride, which includes both the iconic Sunday-morning parade and a number of other events throughout the weekend, has helped shape pride celebrations around the world. In fact, it was for the 1978 SF Pride that the rainbow flag was first used. Recent years have seen over a million people flock to the West Coast’s most gay-friendly city to participate in the revelry. 2014’s festivities will take place June 28-29.


Shanghai Pride

Shanghai’s Pride is still in its infancy, as is the LGBT movement in Asia. When it was first held in 2009, Pride was the first major gay rights event ever held on mainland China. For political reasons, there is still no parade, but participants can expect many other exciting events, like film and theater festivals, art and photo exhibitions, a Pink BBQ, and plenty of parties, including a fundraiser called — and don’t ask us why — the “Naughty After School Party.” The bulk of these events will take place in 2014 from June 12-22, although some will happen before and after, so be sure to check a schedule.


São Paulo

It’s perhaps not surprising that the largest city in the Southern Hemisphere has an absolutely enormous and quite fabulous gay pride celebration each year, but the magnitude of the Sao Paulo Gay Pride Parade is still astounding. Brazil is still a predominantly Catholic and in some ways conservative country (although increasingly progressive when it comes to LGBT rights), and the city’s Pride parade, known officially in Portuguese as the Parada de Orgulho GLBT de Sao Paulo and produced by the APOGLBT, only began in 1997, when it drew an attendance of a couple of thousand. Sao Paulo Gay Pride has shifted its dates a bit, moving to early May – the date this year was May 4, 2014, with related Pride events taking place the full week leading up.

The Science Of Sexual Arousal.

We’ve all heard the stereotype: men want sex constantly, while women need rose petals, scented candles and romance to get in the mood.

This myth has been debunked several times over as we learn more about both male and female sexual arousal. But the idea that the two genders experience sexual stimulation in different ways may not be false; it turns out that men and women may really be wired differently.

New study methods have allowed researchers to gain deeper insight into the science of sexual arousal in recent years. The findings, they say, offer interesting insights into the physiology of arousal in both genders. There is a significant difference between men and women in their physiological and subjective arousal; in other words, the relationship between arousal in the body and in the mind.

For men, this connection is more straightforward. There is a high correlation between physical arousal (an erection) and mental arousal. For women, however, the association is weaker. Just because her body may exhibit the physical signs of arousal, does not necessarily mean that she is mentally aroused as well. This psychological state of arousal, as we know, is very important in our experience of sex.

Researchers have not identified a particular reason for this difference, but they suspect that it may have to do with the fact that physical signs of arousal are simply easier to notice in men than in women. Men in general seem to take more notice of all kinds of physiological signals in themselves, not just sexual ones.

Finding the source of this difference has important implications for the treatment of female sexual dysfunction, researchers say. With studies devoted to this topic currently being conducted around the globe, hopefully it will not be long until we find out.

For more information read on here.

Can weight really affect sex drive? According to Dr. Laura You BET!

Believe it or not, excess weight can actually derail your sexual pleasure and, in turn, your marriage as a whole.

Numerous studies have found an association between weight and sexual pleasure. Obesity can cause a number of health concerns, but it can also greatly impact your sexual performance. Excess weight is related to poor circulation and dwindling testosterone, both of which can contribute to erectile dysfunction. (Obesity can also lead to Type II diabetes, another risk factor for ED).

The good news is that losing even a moderate amount of weight can help to improve your sexual function. In fact, a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that obese men who lost just 5 to 10 percent of their body weight experienced improved desire as a result.

Other studies have linked female sexual pleasure and weight loss. A study performed at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania found that bariatric surgery had impressive effects on women’s sex lives.

The researchers followed women after gastric bypass surgery and found that they all experienced improved sexual pleasure in the bedroom. The study showed that women enjoyed sexual improvements across the board, including improved lubrication, arousal and desire. Their hormone levels also improved – a particularly important factor for women who were concerned with their fertility. They also reported improved body image and better relationship satisfaction following the surgery.

Why is weight loss so beneficial for one’s sexual pleasure?

The answer is two-fold. Losing weight can have physical benefits, particularly for those who are greatly overweight. It can help to regulate one’s hormones and also help to improve circulation across the body (including to the genitals, which means improved sensation and greater arousal). It can also help people to move more easily and feel more comfortable during sex, as excess weight can be very hard on the body and the joints.

Losing weight can also have emotional benefits as well. Improved self-image can easily translate into improved desire and confidence in the bedroom. After undergoing bariatric surgery, the women studied might have felt comfortable in their skin for their first time, allowing themselves to truly let go and enjoy sexual pleasure. Perhaps they even felt bold enough to don lingerie or try new positions they would have considered too revealing in the past.

The same is true for men as well. Fitting into smaller jeans or having more muscle tone can mean that they suddenly feel desirable again, which can translate into a higher libido. And the more you have sex, the more you tend to want sex, creating a pattern of increased sexual pleasure overall.

Losing weight with a partner is one of the best ways to stay motivated, so make a commitment to live a healthier lifestyle with your spouse. Prepare healthy but delicious meals together instead of reaching for the takeout menu, and spend time being active each day. You will not only lose weight, but you will gain an improved sex life as a result. Talk about a win-win.

Laura Berman, PhD, is a world renowned sex and relationship educator and therapist; popular TV, radio and Internet host; New York Times best-selling author; and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago. Dr. Berman is a New York Times best-selling author of many books on sexual health and pleasure, a weekly columnist for the Chicago Sun Times, and host of the radio program “Uncovered with Dr. Laura Berman.”